Studio Habitué Gifts

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

The Art Student.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Jazz is Invented

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Music producers.

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

'All of my paints dried up in their tubes, so I decided to quit painting and become a sculptor.'

A singing microphone.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work

'Well, I love your paint-spattered jeans.'

Symbolism for Artists

David Hockney

God's studio assistants

'Do you have any duck tape?'

"I suffer for my art..."

'I'm a mess — will you go see who's at the door?'

"Hold still - almost done."

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'Oh darn, I made a mistake!'

"Too busy."

'Standard release form - in case anything goes wrong during the delivery.'

"Is it copyright violation if I plagiarize a plagiarized song?"

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

'How's it coming along Monsieur Lautrec?'

'You're supposed to draw something.'

'Was the flash too bright?'

'Did you know your fly was open?'

"We located your chart...It was filed under 'P' for pain in the butt!"

'Playing out of tune doesn't make it a remix!'

Tambourine.