Jazz Club Habitué Gifts

Jazz is Invented

"Try thinking about something else."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Would you like to try them out?"

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

At the CD shop.

"When I was seventeen..."

Ray Charles

'I like jazz rock fusion. It's the kind of music we'd compose if we had music.'

'Now you tell me that you're only a doctor of music!'

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

Jazzy Crossing: A group of jazz dancers cross the road at a Jazzy Crossing sign in a very Jazzy way

'...And in local weather, Ken's cologne has clashed with Trish's hair spray, causing a thunder shower over the news desk.'

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

'Standard release form - in case anything goes wrong during the delivery.'

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Amy Winehouse

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.

Why do jazz singers always have the blues?

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

"We located your chart...It was filed under 'P' for pain in the butt!"

'I can see you have a drinking problem.'

"No, no, no! I want the fuse box behind the Monet, not the Manet!"

'Don't worry. Dying is the last thing you're going to do.'

A band playing while wearing face masks

'I thought you said we were going to see a show with sex and violence.'

"Boy, that performance stunk!"

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan...the large, life-threatening hump we removed from your back turned out to be your attorney..."