Student Loan Approval Gifts

"I didn't have rich parents to bribe my way into college, I had to take out student loans for that. . ."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"I'm going to be in the 7th grade before I get all my pre-school loans paid off."

Life plan

Gone for Broke College

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

Student Loan Shark

"It'll be signed after your student loans are repaid."

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

Graduate Job Openings

Woman at mail boxes which are marked: Local Mail Out - Of Town Mail - Deficit Ideas.

"Full disclosure: I served five years for bank fraud."

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."

Thank you for being so kind and approving my loan application. How can I ever repay you?'

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

'Help! Graduated Magna Cum Debt.'

"I figure that by the time I’m 62, I’ll have no student-loan debt, then, who knows – maybe start a family."

"You want to borrow 1.2 million dollars to meet your school district's budget?"

"I had a dream that a rich guy came to campus and paid off our student loans."

"Bloody building society keeps hassling us about the mortgage payment."

The Bank Bogey Man

'What a coincidence. My student loan payment is the same as my unemployment check.'