School Funding Approval Gifts

"You want to borrow 1.2 million dollars to meet your school district's budget?"

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Pinara fund

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

'Clarice, you know our rule. You cannot date anyone who has...'

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

Torrent of venture capital.

Dummy. Now we have to apply for another grant.

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

"Daddy made six hours of your tuition today."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Made Possible By A Grant...

"Formula for the new product?" "No, that's our grant going down the drain!"

"Our funding has gone into a black hole."

'Oh. Our research grant has finally come through.'

Woman at mail boxes which are marked: Local Mail Out - Of Town Mail - Deficit Ideas.

Thank you for being so kind and approving my loan application. How can I ever repay you?'

'Of course, the really big money is in junk science.'

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

'Please, sir. Help me open a kickstarter account...'

"It's a large gift - a very large gift. So the question is: do we rename ourselves 'Aunt Tilly's Frozen Fish University'?"

"Smile - here comes our funding..."

'My net worth? Do you mean after taxes? Or after I pay for your education?'

"It's the only way we could find funding for the school's football program."

"I didn't have rich parents to bribe my way into college, I had to take out student loans for that. . ."

'Senators! Come quick!'

"So, thought you could use your mutated rate to intimidate me into increasing your funding, eh? Well, think again, bucko!"

"This is Doctor Bagshaw, discoverer of the infinitely expanding research grant."

With education costs on the rise, many schools are looking for alternative ways to raise funds.

Scientific Sponsors