Student Affairs Gifts

Freshers' week societies - 'Debt', 'Poverty' and 'No Money'.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"With $48,000 in student debt, I thought I was too big to fail."

"When do we get to go on strike?"

Where your mind & battle are los

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Computer Room.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Eternal Student.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Burning the midnight oil.

The Bookworm

Guitarist

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Historical memory is on life support.

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'