Students Gifts

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

We'll now take a minute for silent meditation.

I hope my parents can pay off their college loans before I go to college.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

"Now remember, children, if you get lost just show someone your hat, your t-shirt, your sign and your flag, and then say 'I'm from Central Elementary', just to make sure."

Snow globe has a sign 'No school, snow day'.

"It's really hard to make any plans. By the time we grow up there will be all new jobs that nobody's ever heard of!"

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

Music in the Schools

"Your mom and I fully support you in your pursuit of a college education...but...it's just gotten too costly and we're not going to fund you after this semester."

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Okay kids if you think the answer is A then text 1181, if you think the answer is B text 1182...'

"May I be excused to go to the fridge?"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

"I'm doing fine but my parents got bad conduct marks again."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"So Zeus was like their President Bill Clinton?"

Back to Zoom Savings

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

The students of boa junior high suddenly realized that a year end field trip to the amusement park probably wasn't such a good idea

'This is a very popular school catchment area.'

The voltmeter is avaiable in black or grey, but not other colours.

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

How much is one bop on the head and three bops on the head?

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

To protect the ears of college admissions officers, parents are asked to step into a sound-proof booth before looking at tuition prices.

'I think my parents are feeling the pinch of college tuition. They're talking about return on investment.'

'Give me two reasons why you know the earth is round.'

Our teacher told us the human body is two-thirds water, and now he's afraid to pee.

'Good morning, class. I am Mr. Penny and will be your coach today. I expect you to behave - no running and jumping!'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

'I hear that handprint turkeys are kept on file by the FBI to identify future criminals.'