Student Welfare Gifts

"Society's failed you, son - 6 times to be exact�"

Where your mind & battle are los

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Eternal Student.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Guitarist

Burning the midnight oil.

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

The Bookworm

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Historical memory is on life support.

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Make a lot of money."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."