Children Welfare Gifts

Low Self-Esteem. . .Low Expectations

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Humans...What is their purpose?

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Support group for sheep.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

"We’re a lending aquarium."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

The Golfing Accident

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"Be kind"

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'I know I'm not a kitten, I know I'm sorta fat, But if you will adopt me, I'll be your lovin' cat.' Caption:Shelter Cat Blues

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'