Strumming Storyteller T-Shirts

"I'm the studio musician on all the a cappella albums."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Drummer

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

How I met your mother

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Men dancing

Don Pasquale

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Lute

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Maestro

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

Hog Futures

Robert Johnson

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

Teacher walking past drawings of suns casts shadow

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'They wanna know how many we seen tonight. How many you seen, Roy?' 'Well, here's quite a few tonight, Carl.'

Centaur falls in love.