Strumming Storyteller Gifts

This is called "The Ballad of a Self-Taught Guitarist."

"I'm the studio musician on all the a cappella albums."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Drummer

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Mark Knopfler.

How I met your mother

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

Lute

Men dancing

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Don Pasquale

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

Maestro

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

Centaur falls in love.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'They wanna know how many we seen tonight. How many you seen, Roy?' 'Well, here's quite a few tonight, Carl.'

Hog Futures

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Teacher walking past drawings of suns casts shadow

Robert Johnson