Strumming Sage Pillows

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

Gustav Holst

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Fumes from furniture

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"It needs more old salt."

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'You win.'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'I just love the change of seasons.'