Smoking Sage Pillows

'I buy my cigars at Ikea!'

You got any biscuits? I like 'em with gravy. You smoke? Isn't that taboo? Mind your beeswax. Beeswax? Didn't that catchphrase go out years ago? I feel like Michael Douglas. Who? Actor. Can't go in public without being recognized. Can't live up to my rep, see. The herald's stuck in the past?!

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"I'm here for my 10,000 cigarette check up!"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

Fumes from furniture

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Saguaro Cacti.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"You know how I feel about sampling!"

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

"No wonder it's not done. You've got it set on grow."

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

'I just love the change of seasons.'

A look into the future?!

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

"The meaning of life? Let me Google that for you."