Drinks Sage Pillows

"O, that we could harness this wisdom."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Fumes from furniture

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

The perils of overwork.

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"It needs more old salt."

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"Of all the lazy, lowdown, deadbeat, pathetic losers you've ever met who had the most influence on you?"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

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