Strumming Sage Mugs

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

George Martin

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

Gustav Holst

Fumes from furniture

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"It needs more old salt."

'You win.'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'I just love the change of seasons.'