Struggle Satirist Pillows

'My take home pay won't even take me home.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The prying mantis,

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

Inhospitality tent.

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"God help us, it's that guy."

Snowman Driver

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'He did it for us.'

"I started at the bottom and worked my way up to not caring."

Suburban street.

"All the better to ignore you with."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Wine tasters...

"Endless Summer III"

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'