Survivalist Satirist Pillows

'It's still ticking, there IS truth in advertising. Now I can die peacefully.'

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

Early detection was rarely helpful.

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

BARBER

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

"If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Stay in school.

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

Look! A penny!

'I have my diet of raw fish to thank for my figure!'

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.