Stress-busting Satirist Pillows

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"

They're Not Just That Into It

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"Endless Summer III"

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

George Clooney.

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

"What do you think of the new cubicles?"

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

Struggling chef.

'Albert Figgis gets board backing.'

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."

'I'm not asking you to lie - I'm just asking you to go insane.'

A street of old man bars.

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

'Reconstructive surgery'

'I see you're aware of the problem with the phones.'

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

'I was working on little Billy's ant-farm, but lately, he's been more interested in computer games...'

Doc, I firmly believe in portion control as long as I control them!

Esther Island.

Life Exchange

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."