Strings Attached Humorist Gifts

Playing the puppet strings.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

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"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

Studying String Cheese Theory

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'..and one for the pot.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'I understand he has a hard boiled management style.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

Three-way mirror

Gunswinger

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"Listen, Phil....LOVE the hi-def video conferencing, but next time can you trim your nose hairs?"