String Theory Humorist Gifts

Studying String Cheese Theory

"You're going to hate yourself."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

Optimist

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"I told him we needed more string."

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Always with the String Theory."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Evolution...the wifi rhino.