Strict Instructor Gifts

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

Kirsten Johnson

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

"This is a teaching hospital."

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'

'Why English teachers were rarely hung in the old west.'

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

“He’s my son, yes. But we only met a few times. Frankly, I hardly know him.”

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Mike, did you just call me the B-Word, you fatherless good-for-nothing piece of excrement?'

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

"Curling up with a good book is one thing, but now you're taking a shelfie?"