Stressless Strategist Gifts

Think: Everyone's out to get me.

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

Imagine there's no office...

'You need some stress.'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

"We're making progress."

Success

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

"I've learned to compartmentalize my stress."

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

'Whoever said 'taking part is better than winning' was certainly a loser...'

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

The team leader conserved energy at odd moments.

"A high-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that."

Young man asking his governer to buy him a commission in the army

Napoleon 'Snuffed Out' by the Russians

"You'll find I work best under great pressure when the outcome doesn't really matter."

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

'If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs...'

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"