Stress-free Strategist Gifts

'Crisis? Which crisis?'

"I Have so much less stress since I removed the phone and inbox."

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

Emergency instructions

Office talk: 'I deal with stress management the easy way, I let management get stressed while I take it easy!'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Don't sweat the small stuff

"I know it looks like I'm doing nothing, but looks can be deceiving."

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

Easy come, easy go.

'I've always felt that if Harold could just find a way to harness and focus all of that tremendous ennui, he'd do great things!'

Could you hurry it up - my tranquiliser is beginning to wear off.

The team leader conserved energy at odd moments.

'Newburg must be getting close to retirement - he's not easy to intimidate anymore.'

Dealing with Change.

'I've figured out a way to cut down on my workload, Ms. Clark. Eliminate this box.'

"This guy can afford to be offline the whole day...he is richer than we are...."

"Leave me alone, I'm prioritizing my week."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

Imagine there's no office...

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

'You need some stress.'

"We're making progress."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Success

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.