Stress Management Guru Gifts

'Why bother to budget? So we can worry before we spend money, as well as afterwards.'

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

"I'm under a lot of pressure at work."

A day in the life of a fiduciary.

"Insomnia is nothing to lose sleep over."

"I can't take the stress anymore, doctor!"

"Trying to raise a family, establish a career AND invade a planet? It's no wonder you feel stressed-out."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

Costs and Blood Pressure

"I had three 'panic attack' cases today, two first graders and a rookie teacher."

Ways to handle difficult patients.

'This should be done within the next ten minutes because our company will go bankrupt in about fifteen minutes.'

"In the light of recent cutbacks we've had to slightly lengthen your job description."

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'Stop worrying! If this firm was facing bankruptcy, we'd be the first to know.'

"Try to relax."

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

"I'm giving you something to raise your low blood pressure...my bill."

'He never has any stress but he is a carrier.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"I tried working at home but couldn't sustain the misery and terror that keeps me going at the office."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

Mel puts on his best friend's thunder vest, crawls into a bathtub and tries to keep it together while democracy explodes all around him.

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

'I'm worried we might have exceeded our annual leave entitlement.'

'Staff just can't keep up with all the changes...Every week it's a different performance indicator, they're all wondering what the government's next target will be?'

'There goes JB, still unflappable.'

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

Man claiming he's fine, until his death

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

'I don't sit around worrying when something goes wrong. I just quickly panic!'

"What do you think of all these insurance forms and paperwork, Pastor?"

'Another rough day, sir? Can I give you a little push to the elevator?'

"In conclusion, how do you feel your interview went?"