Stress Management Expert Gifts

'It's our latest caseload management system. . . we just keep adding files until he falls over!'

"I can always tell when someone invests in commodities futures."

"It's come to my attention you're using my name as an epithet."

What's this feeling of impending doom??

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"Dude. You seem tense."

'Sometimes I think this is the best part of my day.'

Taxman sees message on his computer screen which reads; You have hate mail.

'What exactly is the latest on the assisted suicide debate...'

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Late/Too Late.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Fragile stamper.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

'I call it laziness - He calls it stress management.'

Office Ergonomics.

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"Have a good weekend!"

Whelmed and Over-Whelmed

Monday around 9PM.

White flag being waved around bosses door.

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'