Stress Management Gurus Gifts

'I'm sick of all the stress - when's the next canoe coming - what if there are two canoes - who takes which one?'

'The recession is now affecting Ralph's hairline.'

"It's either the Incredible Hulk or Jones has crashed through his stress barrier!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

Late/Too Late.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Fragile stamper.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'I call it laziness - He calls it stress management.'

Office Ergonomics.

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"Have a good weekend!"

Whelmed and Over-Whelmed

"Dude. You seem tense."

White flag being waved around bosses door.

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

Monday around 9PM.

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

"When the doctor said you should get a pet for lockdown I think he meant a cat!"

"You're incredibly tight."

Grok's Thought Stopping.