Stress Management Aficionado Gifts

"As receptionist, you'll be answering the phone, greeting customers and doing whatever else they dump on you."

Low Tech Stress Test: 'To fill the budget gap, there will be teacher layoffs. You have the lowest seniority in your school.'

Tech Support/Counseling for Anxiety caused by tech-support.

"I can't sleep. I think I'll get up and solve all my problems."

Reprimand from the Boss.

'the boss wants to see you, Calvin...It doesn't look good...He's being deliberately calm!'

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Late/Too Late.

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

White flag being waved around bosses door.

"Dude. You seem tense."

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

Whelmed and Over-Whelmed

Monday around 9PM.

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

"I have had three work-related heart attacks, witch shows you that I care about my job."

Grok's Thought Stopping.

"When the doctor said you should get a pet for lockdown I think he meant a cat!"

"Oh, stop hyperventilating! You went on vacation to relax, remember?"