Stress-free Scholar Gifts

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

An Archeologic Dig

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

Medical Student

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

Giving thanks.

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

She'll probably get in through clearing.

'The good news is these grades are not good enough for me to get into an expensive college.'

Beach days.

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

"Is that Baldo's 'scary Halloween' face?"

'You'll never get anywhere in life with a diligent attitude like that!'

Graduate

"It's an affliction that can happen to anyone."

"I can't believe it. School starts tomorrow!"

Locker Tax.

Everything I do all of the time is absolutely perfect and I will be taking no notes.

Health Scare Stories Cause Stress, Says Report.