Carefree Academic Gifts

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

Scarcity

Swinging

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'You have failed on all counts...'

Max Weber

Whatever!

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"That's the deep end."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

"They grow up so slow."

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'That's it?'

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

Emile Durkheim

'Now this how you handle the end of summer...'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Doug Kenney

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

'My teacher doesn't give numerical or letter grades. She gives emoticons.'

"Gentlemen - raise your glasses'

"School is loverly this time of year."

'You're in Graduate School now. I think it's high time I stopped doing your home work.'

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."

'First, you have to get their attention.'

Interviewee: 'Nah, work related stress isn't a problem - I've never taken a job seriously enough for it to bother me!'