Study Stress Gifts

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'I've been learning a lot, but I do terribly on tests.'

'This is your new office.'

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

Test Therapy

'Creepy, yes. But on the other hand, he's never missed a deadline.'

Giving thanks.

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

'Humans can't change into bloodthirsty monsters? Forget it! You should have seen my dad when I showed him the last class test!'

AcmeVending 'Getting you through the hectic day!': Coffee, Tea, Hot Chocolate, Antidepressant.

'It's called 'stress' - It'll help with natural selection.'

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

"I know one thing about mythology. Mythology is my Achilles heel."

Teacher to other about broken book on broken ground: 'It's a heavy subject for him.'

'Your first day of student teaching?'

She'll probably get in through clearing.

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

Now for the news: The sales of sleeping pills are skyrocketing. But why? Why are Americans having trouble relaxing at night? We interrupt for this breaking news: Coronavirus, murder bees, unemployment, an appliance that could kill you! Back to our top story – A concerned media asks: Why are Americans so stressed out?

"I'm experiencing student burnout."

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'