School Stress Gifts

'Humans can't change into bloodthirsty monsters? Forget it! You should have seen my dad when I showed him the last class test!'

"I'm experiencing student burnout."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

'This is your new office.'

Test Therapy

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'Creepy, yes. But on the other hand, he's never missed a deadline.'

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

Giving thanks.

'How did you do on the plane geometry exam?' - 'I'm back to square one.'

"Cancel Culture."

"I couldn't make heads or tails of your test questions so I flipped a coin!"

"Mr. Murillo couldn't understand how I could make so many mistakes. So I told him that you helped me write it."

AcmeVending 'Getting you through the hectic day!': Coffee, Tea, Hot Chocolate, Antidepressant.

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

'My mother signed my report card. It got smudged by her tears.'

"I know one thing about mythology. Mythology is my Achilles heel."

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"