School Stress Survivor Gifts

Principal to teacher: 'You've got to get a handle on the screaming and running down the hall. I don't care how afraid you are of your students.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

"An F?!... Do you have any idea how much that essay cost?"

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'Your first day of student teaching?'

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Fight or Flight

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

Danger Slow Sand.

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.