Stress-over-studies Club Gifts

"Okay - now that the paramedic is here with the defibrillator and smelling salts. . ."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"The chairman said he wanted to see you when you got out of hospital."

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

Jobs for graduates

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'I've been learning a lot, but I do terribly on tests.'

Test Therapy

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

Giving thanks.

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

'Humans can't change into bloodthirsty monsters? Forget it! You should have seen my dad when I showed him the last class test!'

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

Teacher to other about broken book on broken ground: 'It's a heavy subject for him.'

"Isn't Gracie getting a little old for bedtime stories?"

'Your first day of student teaching?'

"I just get a little tense before everything."

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

"I'm experiencing student burnout."

Principal to teacher: 'You've got to get a handle on the screaming and running down the hall. I don't care how afraid you are of your students.'

"These are the people I hate dealing with...buried in debt unsure about their futures, no hopes or prospects."

"My dad isn't going to like this. It has 'average' written all over it."

"An F?!... Do you have any idea how much that essay cost?"

A man late for his train

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'