Strength In Numbers Supporter Gifts

'Oh yeah? You and whose army?'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Nutritional Supplements.

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"My parents appreciate teachers, but me, not so much."

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

Vampire Sit ups

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

Teacher's Workroom.

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

'There's a meeting at school tonight, Dad. The superintendent, the principal, the school board, and you.'

It was clear to Mrs. Bennis how the public school budget cuts were hurting students when she asked Danny for a math formula.

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

'Why couldn't you wear glasses like everyone else?'