Shrink Supporter Gifts

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'It's looking good this time: I've been here for six months and the kids haven't lost interest in me as yet...'

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

'Very nice, but is there room to swing a cat?'

Shrink

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

When psychiatry works too well!

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

"I expected it to be a lot busier on our opening night."

Christmas Group Therapy.

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

'My therapist says I've developed a cult of personality disorder.'

'Take comfort in the knowledge that better men than you have far worse inferiority complexes.'

Turkey...cold turkey.

'I'd like to outlaw street mimes, too, but they have the right to remain silent.'

Small store loses out to glossy big store

"At this time of the summer, I hate time."

A fridge surrounded by books.

"OK, let's talk about your narcissistic tendencies."

Shortfuse psychology...making anger work for you!

'That jerk who thinks he's always looked-down on is here.'

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Same Planet, Different Worlds.

'Why that's ridiculous! You have lots of useless years left in you!'