Shrink Gifts

Shortfuse psychology...making anger work for you!

'Why that's ridiculous! You have lots of useless years left in you!'

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

'Take comfort in the knowledge that better men than you have far worse inferiority complexes.'

'My therapist says I've developed a cult of personality disorder.'

"I'm havin' a lotta trouble gettin' reality to agree with me."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Second hand furniture.

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"Not to mention the park view."

Yard Sale

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'I've misplaced everything.'

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.