Street Sermon Enthusiast Gifts

Want to hear some preaching?

Free speech isn't cheap!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Sermon Applause.

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"He's always been an optimist."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Sex and violence/hell and brimstone.

"His sermon last Sunday, 'The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth,' had them rolling in the aisles."

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

'Think about it, if it were not for evil we would be out of a job.'

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"