Street Preacher Gifts

'The end is near.'

Mr. Science Times

"Faith, by definition, is belief that is not supported by evidence. It's gullibility dressed up like a virtue - not something to be admired... Also your sign has four grammatical errors and your underwear is showing."

'Be Content' sign holder to other: 'Hey, you got dual hand grips!'

"He was always cautious about love."

"Three million a year before bonuses."

Free speech isn't cheap!

Repent - Only 50p

The end is not nigh!

'Cult? What makes you think it's a cult?'

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"I derive some satisfaction from being right."

But this doesn't really define me

"The Usual But With Some Added Creepyness"

Heard you died

"The end is near, now available on Amazon Prime."

"The end of the world is nigh."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Night-time halo

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Thou Shalt Not!

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'