Straw Sipster Gifts

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

Running Latte

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

A very fine vintage

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

Corpse Reviver Number 2

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Before we get into the scope, the breadth, the gravity and the cost of this mess...pour yourself a drink...'

Fallen Angel.

'Boozer's Week.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

'Oh alright then, just to the top"

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

Scariest Tactics

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

Bach Doubles

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

Gin-etic Engineering

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."