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A Hole in the Dike

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

Wall of Office Memories

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'