Business Storytellers T-Shirts

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'How fast can you hype?'

6 Brothers Falafel

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

Wall of Office Memories

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

'Guess how much I sold today?'

Dollars Press Conference

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

"This is the deluxe edition Annual Report Director's Cut with restored graphs and alternative endings."

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"Did you hear the good news? We're engaged to become work spouses."

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

"These are my windscreen credits."

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"It was an amazing half hour."