Storytelling Strategist T-Shirts

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

A Hole in the Dike

"I need to assert my power over the pack....I'll take away stuff they really need so they have to come to me for help...."

"I knew it was time to get dark and edgy way before 'Batman' and 'Twin Peaks.'"

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Another win for your boring stories."

"I marked the sections where your total contempt for humanity loses its pathos."

'Hurry, activate your Huffing and Puffing Shields!'

'This is just phase one of a whole raft of measures we're rolling out to rebrand Hamelin.'

Woman in booksotre looking at books labeled 'Highly Graphic Novels.' Covers of books show various charts, graphs, spreadsheets.

"We can clean up with a good merchandising deal."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

Internet Cafe.

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

"Spoiler alert – it's gonna end like it did the other 117 times."

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

'Company wargames weekend 1986.'

"Do you accept these terms and conditions?"