Story-time Strategists T-Shirts

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

A Hole in the Dike

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Internet Cafe.

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"I know I'm huffing and puffing, but I don't have a temperature. You're safe. Now, let me in."

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

Woman in booksotre looking at books labeled 'Highly Graphic Novels.' Covers of books show various charts, graphs, spreadsheets.

"Going out to play? Get back to the computer and start e.gaming!"

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

"Spoiler alert – it's gonna end like it did the other 117 times."

"We should be growing in leaps and bounds with all the fertilizer that flies around in our sales meetings."

"I marked the sections where your total contempt for humanity loses its pathos."

“The jury has requested you pitch your case in the style of a six-part TV mini-series.”