Strategic Mastermind Gifts

'You're not taking this seriously, are you?

"And mark it 'strictly confidential' - I want everybody to read it."

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

'He's just messing with your mind.'

"I think you might need to start again."

'Dang Italians, tricked us again!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

Generals play chess using tiny missiles.

"It's amazing how much this plan looks like a mouse hunt."

Interpersonal conflict

Big Game Hunting. (Giant monopoly and scrabble.)

'I like that guy. He gets a splitting headache, but instead of quitting, he calls time out, the athletic trainer tapes him up, and he gets right back in the game.'

"Holy smokes, he's undefeatable!"

"O.K., Saddam, we want a full and accurate accounting of what you've got - or else?"

World Leader

Big Game Hunter

"We thought we'd try and put in the details later!"

"Have you considered the possibility the government might be trying to lose the next election?"

"Over there they bombed their own troops, but we lost any advantage, because over here we bombed our own troops."

'Slide, Kaupotski, slide!'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

It would've worked too, if his idiot partner hadn't switched on the exhaust fan.

Six-Handed Draughts

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Notoriously losing pieces, the Varns could only have family game night by putting together whatever they could find. 'Checkmate!' 'You sank my Battleship!' 'You didn't say 'UNO'!

'It's pretty clear voters have selected me to be the spoiler.'

"Your application notes you're a grand master. How long have you played chess?"

"Why does every idea I have, have to be a scheme?"

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

Have you even been rejected, Sadie? Of course. When I was a young lass in the coal mines, a girl once refused to play jacks with me. I befriended her. Bided my time. Feigned buffoonery. Then years later, I snatched her husband, her poodle and here jacks in a single game of poker. Fine. You can have another latte. Try to cut me off again and I'll befriend you.

'Pep Guardiola'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."