Strategic Comedian Gifts

'Our recommended position on the market is fetal.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Under new blame.

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

Coronavirus Windmills

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

'It's true. There was a coup.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

'Remember, son, when the going gets tough, bail out!'

BP Waiter: Dinner is served!