Comical Strategist Gifts

Bill's money-saving scheme to use magnifying glasses instead of store bought glasses backfires when he goes outside in the sun.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

Under new blame.

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Coronavirus Windmills

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

'Our recommended position on the market is fetal.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

'It's true. There was a coup.'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'