Stranger Danger Advocate Gifts

'Due to the fact I'm hopelessly lost, I'm willing to waive the rule against talking to strangers.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Dog Crossing

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

Boozing and Cruising

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."