Pedestrian Advocate Gifts

Crossing the Road.

'Pedestrian Rest Area.'

Cull people who use golf umbrellas in a busy high street.

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Dog Crossing

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Boozing and Cruising

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

Elderly lady being pulled up an out-of-order stair lift by her pet dog.