Stranded Strategist Gifts

"Thank heavens! Some work."

"You and your offshore accounts!"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

Book on Thumb Twiddling

'It's a silent protest.'

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

Castaway harnessing electricity.

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

Bummer Time Streaming

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"George is going for the Guinness World Record for just sitting."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

'This is Phillips. He's our new idea man.'

"Wel...come...to...my...zoom...meet...ing..."

"I work too hard, I think I need to spend more time with the children... Do we have any?"

"Testing the "I could do this job in my sleep" theory."

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'