Stranded Story Lover Gifts

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

'Okay, this time I've added - "How do you rate this message?" with one to five stars.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'What luck! A sound technician.'

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"What did Jesus order?"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

William Tell

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Fairy tale

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"