Storytime Magician T-Shirts

'...and then the wicked witch cast a spell, turning the beautiful princess into a freckled, chubby, little girl.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."